Pre-race jitters

So I'm suffering from a serious case of pre-race jitters this week. Some of it is natural - this is double the distance of my longest previous race - some of it is self-induced. You see, I made the mistake of looking at the times from last year for my age group at this distance and found out that I am quite likely to finish last. I am not a super speedy anything, but I tend to finish in the middle of the pack in sprints, anywhere from 4th (2 times) to the bottom of the middle third. I am comfortable in this range. From the times in the Vancouver Suberu oly last year for women in general let alone my age group, this race doesn't seem to attract too many really really recreational athletes like me. So that was Monday night, and it freaked me out a little bit. Then on Tuesday I went swimming at a local outdoor salt-water pool to get some more experience swimming in my wetsuit. I've swum there before and it was fine. But on tuesday it was filled with very fit, fast looking people, some of them wearing couer d'alene swim caps, so who quite obviously had just done that tri. Some were locals, but others were out of towners. I got more intimidated. I am not that. I am a flabby around the middle mom, wife, and professor who does races to make sure I stick with my workouts. I signed up for this one for 3 reasons. One, I train on parts of the course on a semi-regular basis. So I am comfortable here. Two, that means I didn't have to travel to do my first oly, I am at home where I am more comfortable. And three, last year when I came down to spectate and cheer I saw lots of people like me. I saw them and was inspired and figured, if they can do it, so can I. But it turns out, they were all in the half-iron distance. So all the people like me that made me want to push my boundaries and try a longer race are doing an even longer race. And I am in the race with all the super fit super speedy racer types. So my stomach has been a little unsettled all week, and I had another migraine today. But my husband is being super supportive and encouraging, and knows that just finishing the thing is my goal. Even if I'm the last women to cross the finish line, he'll be proud of me and happy for me. He thinks triathlons are wacky, but he also thinks it's great that I have something I'm doing to be healthy, and so is my biggest cheerleader. So I'll go out there and race my race. At my pace. And I will finish. And then we'll go home and watch the soccer game. At least, that's the self-talk I'm working on this week.