Woo Hoo! I lost 5 lbs, and I'll likely gain them back again!

I got into triathlon for several reasons, mostly to get healthy and be around for my child, but I also really wanted to lose some weight. It wasn’t my primary motivation, but I’d be lying if I said I that it wasn’t at least part of my motivation. I got down under my pre-baby weight quite quickly after my son was born, mostly by breastfeeding and living in a walkable city. But once the little guy stopped wanting to be in the Ergo or stroller (as in, he wanted to walk to the store himself), I started walking less. It’s one thing to take 30 minutes to walk to the store, it’s quite another to take 1.5 hours that I don’t have to spare. So the weight started to pack on. I gained about 12 lbs in 1.5-2 years.  Not good.

Training for my first triathlon thankfully put a stop to the gain, but I didn’t lose any weight. I was frustrated for a while, but got over it. I felt so much better, my clothes fit better, and I clearly had clearly been losing some fat, since I was gaining muscle but hadn’t gained any weight. I had gone from barely being able to use the second to last hole in my belt to the last one (from almost the smallest to the smallest, it was a size large belt, up from the mediums in my closet  I could no longer  wear). At least I was seeing some visible improvement in my body. I was never going to be perfect (but I never had been so that’s nothing new), but it’s hard to work hard and see no results. I eventually only allowed myself to jump on the scale at the gym at the beginning of every month. I wasn’t worried about becoming a slave to it, I was worried about getting so frustrated by the lack of movement that I gave up on training. That said, I did want to track any changes. 

By the time I’d been training for 1 year I’d seen some movement in my weight. I had managed to lose, wait for it, 2 lbs! Not much, but it was real. I managed to keep it off for another 6 months. (Of course, there were/are fluctuations in my weight, but it was fluctuating around a different number than before.) Then I had a decent fall workout-wise. Not great, because of life circumstances, but you have to roll with whatever life throws you, and sometimes other things really are more important. I was still running a bit every week when I hurt my toe just before Christmas, then got a really bad cold/cough, which together meant I couldn’t do anything for over a month. My plan had been to do a lot of running over the fall and winter to try and lose a bit more weight. But again, life throws things at you sometimes. My cough finally left a few weeks ago, meaning I could start swimming again, and I am now back in the gym and riding the stationary bike. I can’t put on my bike shoes because of my toe, so no road riding for me still for a bit, and running is definitely still out. I was really careful with my portion sizes during my inactivity and managed to not to gain weight. And I am happy to report that I have finally lost some more weight! About 3 more lbs. So I’ve now lost 5 lbs in 2+ years of training! I would love to lose another 5, but I am not holding my breath.  In fact, I fully expect to gain at least some of it back. Now that I’m training again I can’t eat like I had been. I need food to fuel my body. I like to perform well, and I don’t like to be grumpy all the time because I’m hungry. (So I’m going to eat the amount that I need to. I’ve always eaten well, so changing what I ate was never much of a weightloss strategy available to me. For me it's all about just eating less. And I am too old to want to run around hungry all the time. I've been there and done that. Not an excuse, just a fact about how I feel.)

But I discovered something important while I couldn’t do anything for over a month this winter – I love to train. I was grumpy when I couldn’t get out and run. I wanted to be outside moving my body, breathing in the chill air. Getting wet from rain and sweat. This is good, because it’s a healthier mindset. I was worried that once I could work out again I would have trouble getting motivated, but it’s  been the opposite. I’ve now been back at it for 2 full weeks, and I am happy to be back. Not running is hard, as is not being able to do all the exercises I did last winter that helped so much (some hip work and plyometrics, I can’t do one footed things on my left foot, and given that one of my issues is a stronger right side, just training my right would likely leave me more injury prone, not less.) I am in my usual high that I experience when I start working out again. I know that in a few weeks it'll feel much harder, and I will have to will myself to keep working. It's definitely not all rainbows and light.

But I have managed to stop the gain, no small feat at my age, my love handles are less of a handful than they were, and my clothes fit me better. What really matters in the end, is that I am fitter, faster, and happier. I have more confidence, and that means that I look better, because I carry myself differently. It’s really hard to underestimate the power of confidence. I had a friend in my early twenties who was a large woman. But she carried herself like she was the most beautiful woman in the world. And men responded, everyone responded actually. I remember hearing guys say things like ‘I don’t know what it is about her. I normally don’t like heavy women, but she’s hot.’ She was always the woman in the room who attracted the most attention, and it was all about how she projected herself. (Of course, it didn’t hurt that she had fantastic skin, which was almost white in contrast to her dark curly hair and blue blue eyes. She had all the makings of a striking woman, but without the confidence, it wouldn’t have been half as effective.) 

Anyway, I was excited to have my little moment on the scale. But I know that it’s fleeting, and that things that are more lasting, and more important healthwise, are also changing for the better.